I understand I have a loud voice. I understand I make people uncomfortable. I understand that my views on the current social construct are strong. I understand that I'm passionate, beyond belief.
I understand that I'm a healer.
I AM A HEALER.
I am not your rainbow, unicorn sprinkling love and light over the planet, and over every soul that graces my path.
Being a healer is not all meditating peacefully, and dousing myself in concoctions of moon water and essential oils. It's not all speaking to the angels, and hearing the voice of God.
Being a healer is suicide attempts, and the most indescribable pain of your old self burning to the ground leaving nothing but ashes, and scars.
Being a healer is facing the demons, sitting in the dark- and becoming comfortable there.
Healing is a constant battle between what you know is truth, and the illusion that tries to consume us whole.
I watch my fellow healers sob with inconsolable tears. Tears in which, are comforting to me because I feel the symbiosis of the death of what we know to be true.
Being a healer means going to every point of trauma in your life facing it AGAIN, and then forgiving it.
I FORGAVE the man who molested me. So I could grown.
So I could have this life as a healer and come out on the other side with wisdom, and confidence--except the other side doesn't really exist.
So please. Please. Don't tell me to filter myself, you own a "business". I do not own a business. I am a healer. And I will heal. Even if it means making myself and others uncomfortable.
Because that means healing is occurring.
This work strips you of everything illusionary, every tangible explanation.
I will not do you the disservice of walking on egg shells, and beating around the bush to keep you comfortable and call it "healing".
That's not healing— that's stagnancy.
My clients come to me, seeking help. They have hit rock bottom, they are starting to see their demons. And I tell them, this work is not for the faint of heart. The pay off is tremendous. And some weeks are great, some weeks are treacherous, but ALL weeks are healing.
And if you don't want that, I am not the healer for you.
And I won't pretend to be.
If you want a healer, who baby sits you, I am not the healer for you.
If you want a healer, who dismisses your trauma, as non-existent I am not the healer for you.
If you want a healer, who will tell you that there will come a point where there is no more to heal, I am not the healer for you.
I don't do this for money, I don't do this for praise. I do this because I genuinely give a fuck about changing this world, and not to sugar coat the destruction.
I am a healer.